The annoying myth of not listening to others

If you have time to worry about what other people think of you, you are not living big enough.

Again, the triumphant, expensive watch on hand, photoshoot influencers of LinkedIn are the source of inspiration for a small reflection. Today, I would like to challenge the idea of Not listening to others and how this attitude is turning into something arrogant and even dangerous.

The key idea is clear enough; We live in a society that pressures us to fit specific standards, from what we study to how we dress, from topics considered relevant to understanding success. In that sense, we must challenge these constructs and define for ourselves the path we aim to take and how our decisions will forge our identity.

But when we believe we should not worry, at all, about what people think about us and applaud this attitude, we are also reinforcing a mistaken and dangerous individualist discourse.

Many branches would be worthy of reflecting on regarding this topic. Still, I would like to focus on three things that we need to consider to challenge this idea and change this discourse towards a more collective one.

Not listening to others is a lie, and it creates a fake sense of authority.

To affirm that your persona is forged just in yourself without the help and validation of others is simply a lie.

Our interactions with others influence every single one of us.

From the moment we are born to the moment we die, from our family, the dominant religion and political system, our education, and our social circles have crucial importance on the persons we become.

When we avoid listening to others, we deny one fundamental truth: we are part of the collective. Our individuals selfs highly depend on the perception that others have about us.

So, it is necessary to draw a limit. We need to aim to break those limiting beliefs society imposes on us, but we must also recognize that our personalities result from that same society.

We are inclined towards outsiders, especially when seeking role models or influencers. Yes, these people help us create new paradigms and progress towards our better selves and, ergo, towards better societies. Still, real outsiders have a deep sense of relationship with their community because they understand how their actions are influenced, directed, and driven by others.

What I think is even more interesting about this kind of people is that they have a validation aim on social media, creating a self-sufficient culture based on the opinions and likes of others.

This attitude is nocive to collective action and the social perspective of work.

We can analyze this individualism from a personal perspective and a more macro-social view.

We live in a society that is a massive fanatic of individualism, and that praises any discourse that reinforces the idea of the individual over everything, from the messianic politicians to another ridiculous and annoying myth of the self-made person.

We are driven to believe that the individual should prevail over the community and that personal effort can always overcome the system's barriers.

So, when people affirm that they don't listen to others, they harm the collective and associative nature of social progress and change. Even in the business world, you need to be an avid listener of your customers and partners to succeed.

My proposal here is to reflect on how we can shift this speech towards a more empowering one of collective change; I prefer to affirm that we must be cautious about the people we hear or share time with than to say that we should listen to nobody.

You need to understand that you are fallible, and if you create a self-made echo chamber of thinking that you have all the answers, it is problematic that your work, whatever it is, doesn't translate into real social change.

Listening to others is what will allow us to move forward

Empathy is probably one of the essential skills for any individual. The capacity to listen with full attention, be humble, and understand where other people's comments, thoughts, and visions are coming from is a must for any person in any job or profession.

The main problem that this kind of affirmation portrays is that we shouldn't allow the opinions of others to dictate our personality or our future. Still, I believe that the idea of others can be a handy mirror to validate if we are doing good.

If everyone in your social circle tells you that you act like an asshole, you should pay attention and not answer I don't care what others think about me; this is how I am. A better approach is to reflect on the attitudes that make other people feel about you as an asshole and try to work on yourself to have a better system with others.

And this becomes increasingly important when we hold a position of power or influence in society and know that people listen to us. One, because we owe ourselves to those we lead or serve, and second, we should use our position of privilege to help and support those who can't access specific platforms.

Conclusion

Listen to others, be active, and be proud of empathizing with others. Develop the capacity to discern between those opinions holding you back and those who are relevant, empowering, or needed.

I believe that there are many things in the status quo that we must change and develop our critical thinking to listen to others and build together.

I highly suggest you rethink that attitude of not listening to others and turn it into active listening to those around you to create a more powerful, connected, and change-driven society.